I have to give them credit, I’ve never seen anyone take the time to mspaint in hot topic wrist accessories before.
youshouldntwearthatfedora in your OKC profile picture.
Oh man, how is this guy still single. He is THE MAN after all.
That van is secretly watching to see if you are going to smash the system.
I hope they don’t mean my hi-fi system.
This frightens me greatly.
Not really the best time to try that, Hank.
I only ever seem to reblog JadedPunk lately, I might have to read other tumbl0rs and rectify this.
“My favourite Olympic Games were the 1904 Summer Olympics! THERE CAN BE NO OTHER CHOICE.”
- you, every time someone asks you what your favourite Olympic Games were from now on.
- The marathon winner, Fredrick Lorz, got exhausted 14 km in, hopped in his manager’s car, drove the next 17 km until the car itself broke down, at which point he got out and jogged across the finish line and won first place
- Dude WENT ALONG WITH THIS until he finally admitted it was a “practical joke”
- Thomas Hicks, who actually won first place, got tired so he was given a shot of brandy with STRYCHNINE (yep, that’s the pesticide that’s fatal to humans) in it as a muscle relaxant, and then got tired again, so he was given a second shot of booze and pesticide. He collapsed soon after crossing the finish line
- “Strychnine is now forbidden for athletes”
- Felix Carbajal showed up at the last minute, running in his street clothes on an empty stomach. He got hungry, so he stopped racing to sneak into an orchard and steal some apples
- The apples were rotten, so he got sick
- Then he lied down and had a nap
- Felix Carbajal came in fourth place
- This year also had the first two black Africans to compete in the marathon, Len Taunyane and Jan Mashiani. They came in ninth and twelfth.
- “This was a disappointment, as many observers were sure Len Tau could have done better if he had not been chased nearly a mile off course by aggressive dogs”
- George Eyser and his left wooden leg (he got run over by a train) won six medals including gold in vaulting, which at that time included “a jump over a long horse without the aid of a springboard”. It’s not even a regular horse. It is a long horse.
- Events included Water Polo (in a pond where the water was so bad that many players got sick afterwards) and Tug Of War which is AMAZING, check out this Olympic-level tug of war:
London if you want to impress me I’m afraid I’m going to need to see NAPS and APPLES and also UNAIDED JUMPS OVER LONG HORSES because seriously.
Warped Tour Bingo
Here’s how it works: If you’re going to the Warped Tour this year (our condolences by the way), find any of these common Warped atrocities and snap a picture of it. Then tweet it or submit it to us on Tumblr here. Use the hashtag #WarpedTourBingo and we’ll post the best ones. Together, we can fill out this grid, people! Good luck and photograph safely—don’t want some fat meathead punching your lights out for snapping a photo of his lady. Use punk rock discretion.
- Miserable parent with kid (Points awarded based on closest proximity to stage.)
- Leather jacket in over 85 degree weather (We’ll take your word on the temperature.)
- Someone getting an autograph on their body (Extra points if it’s a chick getting her cleavage signed.)
- Blink 182 tattoo (We’ll take the bunny, the logo, their faces. The worse the better.)
- Someone crying (There’s always someone crying. Maybe they got super panicked when a bunch of sweaty fat dudes starting circle pitting around them. Maybe they’re tears of joy from finally seeing their fave band like evz, Pierce the Kings, or whatever the fuck. Photograph it, but for God’s sake, don’t go telling your idiot friend that Taking Back Sunday broke up just to get him to cry.)
- Trucker hat (Reminder: it’s 2012)
- A random celebrity (Ryan Gosling, Will Smith, Kevin James, we’ll take any non-music celeb who has no earthly business there. No context please.)
- Hair dyed with leopard spots (You know that stupid hair dye job. It’s a Warped Tour mainstay.)
- Band member wearing shirt of band they’re in (The local stage is probably your best bet.)
- Body paint (We don’t know when or why this trend started. We don’t want to know. Just photograph it.)
- Skinhead (LOL what are you doing there, dude?)
- Dad with punk shirt (A CBGBs or Ramones shirt is your best bet here but surprise us!)
- Wild card (Surprise us! There’s probably a whole mess of embarrassing goings-on that we can’t possibly anticipate. Maybe it’s a stupid haircut, even by Warped Tour standards. Maybe it’s a juvenile bumper sticker. Maybe someone’s grandma is stagediving. Best photo submission goes in this spot.)
- Hemp necklace (College/beach towns will make this one super easy.)
- Couple making out (There’s always one. Behind the port-a-potties is a great place to check. We will also accept super inappropriate PDA.)
- Basketball jersey (Points awarded for how much the person appears to never have actually played basketball.)
- Girl in bikini (We need it…for research. Over 18 please, we’re not total creeps.)
- Goth kid (Bonus points if it looks like they’re sweating miserably through their black attire.)
- Sunburn (Who forgot to bring their sunscreen? Rookie mistake.)
- Anti-flag drinking Monster Energy Drink (Get a picture of anyone from Anti-flag punking out and drinking a Monster Energy Drink. We will also accept in a Monster Energy booth, wearing a Monster Energy shirt, anything with them and the Monster Energy logo and you win.)
- Pink band shirt (Either on someone’s body or at a merch table. We’ll accept either.)
- NOFX tattoo (Gotta be some kids who still remember Fat Mike. Maybe even Fat Mike himself?)
- Guy wearing girl jeans (This is a GIMME, people.)
- Poor old Chuck Ragan (Honestly, what is this poor guy doing on this tour? Take a picture of our boy Chuck, wouldya?)
- Anarchy symbol (Bonus points if it’s anywhere in view of a big corporate logo like Kia or Vitamin Water.)
by Dan Ozzi
Sure, Green Day. Sure.
Sometimes I wonder how many horses have been raped because of this show, I estimate it to be in the high thousands.